Category: Uncategorized

One thing that I do my best to do it to let every candidate know where they are in the selection process as soon as I know.  On the surface that sounds good but I am amazed by the amount of people that get very, very angry when I email them to let them know we are not moving them forward in the interview process.  I think many people feel that we should interview EVERYONE that applies.  That would be like saying you have to go on at least one date with EVERYONE that wants to go on a date with you and guess what, you get to pay.  Yep, even that creepy person who has been staring at you in line at Starbucks.  Oh, you didn’t notice them since you were on your phone the whole time but the are there.  I know what you think, that is not that many people.  Really?  I receive anywhere from 5 to 100 applicants a day.

So how would you handle it if it was just five people that asked you out every day?  You would probably tell a lot of the no, correct?  So, assuming that you would not take five people out on a date everyday, how would you decide who to take on a date and who not to take on a date?  Here are some possible things you would look at along with comments that candidates say when recruiters use similar criteria in the selection process.

• What they are wearing.  How shallow of you, what I wear has no bearing on who I am as a person.
• What they do for a job.  Just because I do that to pay the bills, that should not affect how you judge me.
• How many people they have dated and how long they date each of them.  It really wasn’t my fault, they were all jerks.
• How they speak to you, are the nice or not.  Hey, that is just who I am, you judgemental jerk.
• Do they bad-mouth all of their ex’s?  You will be saying the same things about me soon and you are very hard to please.
• If you set a time a place to meet them, are they late?  It was not my fault, traffic sucks.

So, at this point unless you are a duller you are starting to see what I am getting at.  I am not even getting into whether or not you meet the minimum criteria.  I will cover that in another post.

The Man

Entrepreneurs are willing to work 80 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week.
Lori Greiner

Some candidates contact me after they are not selected for a position and ask why or for feedback.  I actually like this and encourage people to do this.  Keep in mind this is NOT the people who do it this way: “WHY DID YOU NOT HIRE ME?!”  Or: “You obviously did not hire me because I am (insert protected class status here; old, black, latino, a woman, etc…) as I am the most qualified person for the position.”  For those people please refer to my post about not being a tool.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I want to help you I won’t.  At least not in my professional capacity.  Why?  Because The Man over me does not want me to.  Also, it usually does not end well.  Imagine this… you break up with someone and they ask nicely “Why did you break up with me?”  Or imagine if you asked your most recent ex that.  Most would say “It’s not you, it’s me.”  You know what that means… It’s YOU!  No one likes that.  Yes, some people can handle it and learn from it but the vast majority of people will get angry and argumentative.  It is the case of a some people ruining it for everyone, kind of like that Uber Driver that sued Uber.

That is why I started this blog.  So I can help.  I also want to share some of the funny things that happen day to day as a recruiter.  Yes, some of my posts are not nice and there will be a lot of sarcasm which will anger people but all in all I think it can be a force for good.  At the very least it will make some people laugh and if not them, me 🙂

The Man

Rule #1
No good deed goes unpunished.

A lot of people will tell you “even if you don’t meet the criteria, apply and maybe they will hire you.  That may be true but if you do not meet the minimum criteria and you apply you become part of the problem.  You are then just clogging up the system and that hurts EVERYONE.  How?  Read on…

Let’s say you are single and would like to date someone.  Do you just go out with ANYONE?  Maybe if you are truly a bisexual you would but most people do have at least one criteria that is a minimum criteria, the gender of the other person.  OK, you think that sounds judgemental.  How about the language they speak?  If someone comes up to you on the street, they do not speak your language but maybe they have a card they hand you that says, in your language, “I do not speak your language, but I would like you to take me on a date.”  Would you indulge them?  No, they did not pull up in a limo, they look like a semi-normal person.  I bet the answer would be no.  Still sound judgemental?  How about if you are a tree-hugging, otter-scrubbing, vegan-eating, member of PETA and a person wearing this shirt asks you to take them on a date?

Who is the judgement bigot now? 🙂  See, we all have minimum criteria and recruiters are no different.  I know, I know, but if you would only get to know me.  But here is the thing, I don’t have time to get to know everyone.  Sorry, life sucks sometimes but them thar are the facts.

How about this as an idea?  If you are unsure about if you meet the minimum criteria or not, ask.  It may be as simple as calling the company and asking the HR department.  Or it could be as complicated as joining LinkedIn and searching for someone in the company and asking them.  Oh, wait, that is not that complicated.

The Man

What comes easy won’t last long and what lasts long won’t come easy.
Unknown

 

I sometimes have candidates apply that are well, tools.  Or maybe asshats would be a better and more gender neutral term as these people are not bound by age, race, country of origin, socioeconomic status or gender.  You can be an asshat any number of ways:

• Argue with me when I tell you we are not hiring you.
• Demean me and tell me I suck at my job.
• Tell me that you are too good for me any way.
• You say that you weren’t really interested.
• Cut me off during a phone call or interview.
• Try to control the interview.
• Oh, do you not have my resume? I explained it on my resume.

See a common thread here between dating and interviewing?  Yep, you can’t fix stupid or crazy.  Some people show their asshatness during the interview process while others wait till they are not hired and thus, they confirm our decision.

In short, don’t be an asshat.  If you are one then get help.

The MAN

“All lasting business is built on friendship”
Alfred A. Montaper

The short answer is because that is what I named it.  The longer answer is that dating and the job search have more to do with one another than any of us would like.  I LOVE analogies and I use them all the time.  Dating and the job search, in particular interviewing, is about the best analogy I have have ever thought of, and I have thought of a lot of analogies.

Don’t believe me?  Ok, try this one out.  A first interview is like a first date; as a company we feel that is the best we will ever get.  BTW, you should to.  If a company treats you like crap as a candidate, how do you think they will treat you as an employee?  Reminds me of a joke:

A man dies and St. Peter greets him at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells the new arrival that his record is good, but that he still has free will and can choose between Heaven and Hell. But before he does, he’ll have the opportunity to explore both options. Then St. Peter gives the new arrival a tour of Heaven.

Heaven is a nice place. Everything is perfectly clean. A lot of angels are walking around singing hymns and such. But overall, Heaven is a pretty boring place. After touring Heaven the new arrival gets a chance to explore the alternative.

Hell is a very different place. It’s a party! There’s a lot of music. There are a lot of people dancing. He sees his friends playing golf, drinking the best brands and smoking the best cigars. Everyone’s having a great time.

After his tour of Hell, the new arrival goes back to visit St. Pete. And he says, “I apologize, but I’ve decided to spend the rest of eternity in Hell. It’s nothing personal. It’s just more my style.” And off the new arrival goes to Hell.

When the new arrival gets back to Hell, it’s nothing like it was during his tour. People are literally on fire; their flesh is burning. There’s screaming and suffering. It is Hell, after all. The new arrival says to Satan, “There must be some mistake. This isn’t what Hell was like when I visited yesterday.” Satan laughs and says, “Yes, but yesterday you were prospect, today you’re an employee!”

That is, unless they are trying the “you don’t mean crap to me” dating play.  I will cover that in a later post.

Back to your first interview/date.  If you show up late, I wonder if you will ever make it to work on time, or at all.  Mean to my receptionist, that means you are not a nice person.  Some companies actually like hiring nice people, not tools.  Shocking, I know.  If this was a date how would you feel if they were late picking you up and they were a jerk to the waitstaff?  See what I mean?

The Man

“If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person.”
Dave Barry

Tired of The MAN keeping you down?  Suck it up buttercup.  If you are reading this then you are The Man keeping someone else down.  But, for this blog, I will be The MAN and yes, I keep you down.  See, I am a Recruiter.  Yes, I hold the keys to the fabled kingdom of the best job/career you will ever know.  Yep, I stand between you and the pot of gold at the end of the freaking rainbow.  But guess what?  I am not like the black knight. I can actually use my weapons to keep you from passing.  When I say “None shall pass!  I mean it.  If you do not get that reference then I am sad for you.   And guess what?  There is virtually no one looking over my shoulder.  Unless you know someone REALLY well, you will not get past go and collect the $200.

Does that suck?  Yes and no.  If you know how to play the game then the odds will ever be in your favor.  Sorry, couldn’t help myself.  Seriously, if you know the game and the rules, then you can play and play it well.  Yes, the correct word is well, not good.  Pay attention in english.  The plan for this blog is to help you learn the game, the rules of the game and how to play the game.  What game you ask?  The job/career search game.  Don’t think it should be a game?  Tough, it is and you better wake up or start your own business.  If you do start your own business then you still play the game, you have just switched teams.

The Man

“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”
Thomas Jefferson