Month: June 2015

A lot of people will tell you “even if you don’t meet the criteria, apply and maybe they will hire you.  That may be true but if you do not meet the minimum criteria and you apply you become part of the problem.  You are then just clogging up the system and that hurts EVERYONE.  How?  Read on…

Let’s say you are single and would like to date someone.  Do you just go out with ANYONE?  Maybe if you are truly a bisexual you would but most people do have at least one criteria that is a minimum criteria, the gender of the other person.  OK, you think that sounds judgemental.  How about the language they speak?  If someone comes up to you on the street, they do not speak your language but maybe they have a card they hand you that says, in your language, “I do not speak your language, but I would like you to take me on a date.”  Would you indulge them?  No, they did not pull up in a limo, they look like a semi-normal person.  I bet the answer would be no.  Still sound judgemental?  How about if you are a tree-hugging, otter-scrubbing, vegan-eating, member of PETA and a person wearing this shirt asks you to take them on a date?

Who is the judgement bigot now? 🙂  See, we all have minimum criteria and recruiters are no different.  I know, I know, but if you would only get to know me.  But here is the thing, I don’t have time to get to know everyone.  Sorry, life sucks sometimes but them thar are the facts.

How about this as an idea?  If you are unsure about if you meet the minimum criteria or not, ask.  It may be as simple as calling the company and asking the HR department.  Or it could be as complicated as joining LinkedIn and searching for someone in the company and asking them.  Oh, wait, that is not that complicated.

The Man

What comes easy won’t last long and what lasts long won’t come easy.
Unknown

 

I sometimes have candidates apply that are well, tools.  Or maybe asshats would be a better and more gender neutral term as these people are not bound by age, race, country of origin, socioeconomic status or gender.  You can be an asshat any number of ways:

• Argue with me when I tell you we are not hiring you.
• Demean me and tell me I suck at my job.
• Tell me that you are too good for me any way.
• You say that you weren’t really interested.
• Cut me off during a phone call or interview.
• Try to control the interview.
• Oh, do you not have my resume? I explained it on my resume.

See a common thread here between dating and interviewing?  Yep, you can’t fix stupid or crazy.  Some people show their asshatness during the interview process while others wait till they are not hired and thus, they confirm our decision.

In short, don’t be an asshat.  If you are one then get help.

The MAN

“All lasting business is built on friendship”
Alfred A. Montaper

The short answer is because that is what I named it.  The longer answer is that dating and the job search have more to do with one another than any of us would like.  I LOVE analogies and I use them all the time.  Dating and the job search, in particular interviewing, is about the best analogy I have have ever thought of, and I have thought of a lot of analogies.

Don’t believe me?  Ok, try this one out.  A first interview is like a first date; as a company we feel that is the best we will ever get.  BTW, you should to.  If a company treats you like crap as a candidate, how do you think they will treat you as an employee?  Reminds me of a joke:

A man dies and St. Peter greets him at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells the new arrival that his record is good, but that he still has free will and can choose between Heaven and Hell. But before he does, he’ll have the opportunity to explore both options. Then St. Peter gives the new arrival a tour of Heaven.

Heaven is a nice place. Everything is perfectly clean. A lot of angels are walking around singing hymns and such. But overall, Heaven is a pretty boring place. After touring Heaven the new arrival gets a chance to explore the alternative.

Hell is a very different place. It’s a party! There’s a lot of music. There are a lot of people dancing. He sees his friends playing golf, drinking the best brands and smoking the best cigars. Everyone’s having a great time.

After his tour of Hell, the new arrival goes back to visit St. Pete. And he says, “I apologize, but I’ve decided to spend the rest of eternity in Hell. It’s nothing personal. It’s just more my style.” And off the new arrival goes to Hell.

When the new arrival gets back to Hell, it’s nothing like it was during his tour. People are literally on fire; their flesh is burning. There’s screaming and suffering. It is Hell, after all. The new arrival says to Satan, “There must be some mistake. This isn’t what Hell was like when I visited yesterday.” Satan laughs and says, “Yes, but yesterday you were prospect, today you’re an employee!”

That is, unless they are trying the “you don’t mean crap to me” dating play.  I will cover that in a later post.

Back to your first interview/date.  If you show up late, I wonder if you will ever make it to work on time, or at all.  Mean to my receptionist, that means you are not a nice person.  Some companies actually like hiring nice people, not tools.  Shocking, I know.  If this was a date how would you feel if they were late picking you up and they were a jerk to the waitstaff?  See what I mean?

The Man

“If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person.”
Dave Barry

Tired of The MAN keeping you down?  Suck it up buttercup.  If you are reading this then you are The Man keeping someone else down.  But, for this blog, I will be The MAN and yes, I keep you down.  See, I am a Recruiter.  Yes, I hold the keys to the fabled kingdom of the best job/career you will ever know.  Yep, I stand between you and the pot of gold at the end of the freaking rainbow.  But guess what?  I am not like the black knight. I can actually use my weapons to keep you from passing.  When I say “None shall pass!  I mean it.  If you do not get that reference then I am sad for you.   And guess what?  There is virtually no one looking over my shoulder.  Unless you know someone REALLY well, you will not get past go and collect the $200.

Does that suck?  Yes and no.  If you know how to play the game then the odds will ever be in your favor.  Sorry, couldn’t help myself.  Seriously, if you know the game and the rules, then you can play and play it well.  Yes, the correct word is well, not good.  Pay attention in english.  The plan for this blog is to help you learn the game, the rules of the game and how to play the game.  What game you ask?  The job/career search game.  Don’t think it should be a game?  Tough, it is and you better wake up or start your own business.  If you do start your own business then you still play the game, you have just switched teams.

The Man

“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”
Thomas Jefferson